In the beginning....................

Well, here I am, blogging. Whatever that is.

I suppose it will help me reduce the pressure while I am unemployed and maybe help vent my spleen. So many things to whine about, so little time!!

So, here we go. I'm Andy Marks, one time Planning Engineer, now lazy slob, with about as much chance of getting a job as as the man who sold Noah two male elephants. I'm in my middle 50's, dashingly handsome (well, I have to start being positive!) and I have a cynical and somewhat jaundiced view of the world in general.

I'm trying to set up my own Photographic business in order to gain useful employment doing weddings and things, with little success. I take a good photograph, I am competent and I'm friendly (unless crossed by any of my pet peeves). I'm also applying for jobs in the aviation industry with about as much success.

So, for the time being, I shall have to fight off my creditors with one hand while typing drivel and slander with the other. One good thing about being skint is, no one can have your money because you haven't got any!!! Although trying to tell banks and credit card companies this is hard work. I'm not yet sure which part of "I don't have any money" they don't understand.

Today I shall try and organise some sort of routine in order to make my life slightly less miserable. I shall accompany my son to the Dole Office (Yes, I know it's now "Jobseekers", but as they are as much use as mammary glands on a fish we'll stick with the old name). He, like me, is a lazy slob and has better things to worry about than work. Like why his laptop is freezing, why he is always hungry yet as thin as a rake and why he can't seem to get out of bed until the sun is way past it's zenith!

I shall also fill in some budget calculations in a vain attempt to convince my creditors of my poverty. I was going to organise stuff for a boot sale (we need to downsize!) but, as it's raining and miserable (welcome to Monday morning) I shall stay indoors.

I also have to decide how many slices of stale bread and cheese we will have for tea. Should I splash out and do two rounds, or just have one slice open to the elements a la smorgasbord? Decisions, decisions!

Well, I'd better stop for now. I need a shower (have to rig the coke can with the holes and the foot pump) and I guess I should throw on some rags.

Have a nice day